Just a short note as I get ready to fly out. The good thing is that I will get to see my friend with breast cancer and my son (who has down syndrome) and help to calm his fears about his father. But that means I must calm my own.
And there are fears getting triggered about going back now under these conditions. I need to keep stopping, taking deep breaths (breathe in deeply, hold for several seconds, let out slowly) as I remind myself that all will be well. I am not who I was.
Still, it is hard to go from a place where everyone views me with respect to a place where people don’t. Some of them anyway. One of the things I will be looking at is in what way some of those dynamics can be altered—IF they can.
I know that I will need to do the breathing often—to calm fears that are rising up out of the past as much as because of what’s happening now. I will envision a safe place in my mind where I am confident and strong and remind myself of all the successes I have had in my life. And that I am not who I was when I lived there and felt so afraid to ever speak up for myself.
There are some real issues in the now. Fears that I hope will prove groundless. I breathe deeply and remind myself that whatever will be will be—whether I worry or not—and that I have within me the skills and strength and resilience to face whatever is ahead.
Well, time to go. If I can, I will try to post a little more often this week. If I can. Depends on how things go and what internet access I have. Blessings to all of you and as always, sending safe and gentle ((((((hugs)))))).