Heroes and Safety

Most people live their lives from a place of fear. Not just people who have been traumatized but everyone. Fear of being broke, fear of rejection, fear of not being good enough, fear of being hurt, fear of being abandoned, fear of ____________ (fill in the blank with every other fear you can think of).

Problem is our brains don’t work the same when we’re scared Often we can’t think of solutions as easily or feel generous and loving if we’re afraid. At the very least it’s much harder than when we’re happy or relaxed.

So...two thoughts:

1) Create a safe place in your mind. Whenever you feel scared imagine being there, safe and happy. Imagine this is how your life is meant to be. What could you do if you always felt this safe and happy?

Odds are that if you can create this sense of being safe and happy in your mind, you will begin to see solutions to situations that have felt overwhelming. You will see the path out of every challenge. If you know, deep in your heart, that you deserve to feel this safe and happy, odds are you will not let anyone mistreat you ever again.

2) Be a hero. I’m not talking about rushing into burning buildings or fighting wars. I’m not talking about rescuing every person you see. I’m not talking about trying to be good enough, heroic enough to deserve to exist. (And yes, I know that one only too well....)

What I am talking about is this: Suppose you see yourself as a hero—someone who does the right thing even if it’s hard or scary? Suppose you see yourself as someone who can offer a kind word to others and who does what needs to be done—even when it’s hard or scary?

I’m talking about a mental shift. I’m talking about seeing yourself from the core of your STRENGTHS. I’m talking about seeing yourself as strong and capable of making changes in your life.

And yes, sometimes it means standing up for others. Sometimes it means doing the right thing even when the other person doesn’t. It means choosing to become the people we want to be and believe in. It means caring enough about ourselves to ask of ourselves that we give our best—not for anyone else’s sake but for our own.

What if we choose to live lives of joy? What if we choose to be at peace with ourselves? What if we choose to believe that we will always find the resilience and strength inside to live as we want to live? How might our lives change?

That’s the journey I’ve been on the past few years. And as scary as it has been at times, oh, the joy in discovering I am stronger than I thought I was, braver than I thought I was, smarter than I thought I was!

Five years ago, I could not have imagined my life as it is now. Ten years ago I would have said you were crazy if you told me this was who I would become. Twenty years ago I’m not sure I believed I’d even live until now.

What I am saying is that even if you have trouble believing these things of yourself and your own life, there is power in taking a leap of faith. There is power in choosing to live AS IF it was true—as if you were strong enough and brave enough and wise enough to create the kind of life you want to have. You may not see any way to do it. I didn’t. I was lucky if I could see two steps ahead, much less have a far reaching plan! But I took the leap of faith and the bridge appeared. So, I believe, it will for you.

So...create an image of a safe and happy place in your mind. A place where you can go to renew yourself emotionally when it’s been a hard day. And begin to live your life as a hero. Notice the good things that begin to happen, the ways your life begins to improve. Trust that you don’t need to be able to see the whole path—just the step ahead.

Sending safe and gentle ((((((hugs))))))),
April_optimist