Friday, June 26, 2009

Possibilities

Well, I've finally almost reclaimed my house and cleaned up the stuff scattered all over when my daughter left. Shipped off another large box of her stuff to her, too. My dog has (more or less) stopped moping and I've been able to do a few things I didn't while she was here.

I know that this new direction in her life is a VERY GOOD THING—both for her and for the work she is going into. Now the challenge becomes looking at new possibilities in my own life. What might I want to do that I haven't—for whatever reason? What might I want to do that will make me smile?

Mind you, having daily highs over 100 degrees tends to put a damper on one's energy—especially for outdoor activities. And I'm still catching up on things that got put aside while I helped my daughter get ready to move. But it's time to look at possibilities—whether for right now or for when it gets a bit cooler outside.

I saw the Star Trek movie and found myself thinking that I'd like to be part of that grand adventure and it got me thinking about hope again. Because that's the foundation of the success of the whole Star Trek franchise—hope. Hope that against all odds, brash daring might win the day even against apparently overwhelming forces.

Those of us who have known abuse know what it's like to feel powerless. For many of us, it was hope that kept us going. Hope that one day life would be better, hope that one day the abuse would stop, hope that some day someone—even if it was us—would figure out a way to stop the abuser(s). I don't think it's surprising that so many of us were/are drawn to Star Trek, especially when you add a Vulcan who seems to know how to handle difficult emotions so that they do not run his life—as was true for Spock in the original series.

Here's hoping each of you has a source (or more than one!) of hope in your life.

Sending blessings and safe and gentle ((((((hugs)))))),
April_optimist

Thursday, June 11, 2009

So....

I'll be around to read blogs soon--I hope. Just realized how long it's been since I posted and figured I'd mention I'm still alive.

Yesterday I got my daughter on the road to California and her new life there. I figure it will take me a month to recover from the past 10 days! At least that's how it feels. Between lack of sleep, frantic packing and shipping, trying to get her car fixed up in time, etc. I'm exhausted. I'm also numb, relieved, missing her and a whole bunch of other emotions I can't yet name.

During this time I also learned my ex's girlfriend has moved into our old house and they're about to go off for a vacation in Paris, France. Don't get me wrong--I'm glad he's happy. I don't begrudge them these things. But...it is another change and he and I lived in Paris for a year when we were first married. So it's more emotions to deal with. Not jealousy exactly. More the sense of changes happening. And remembering the days of being the one walking those streets so many, many years ago.

Anyway, I'm way behind on my work, still needing to catch up on sleep and processing a lot of emotions.

Wishing all of you well and hoping to catch up soon on your blogs. Sending blessings and safe and gentle (((((((hugs))))))).
April_optimist