Hmmm. I seem to keep getting farther and farther behind posting. And I'm just barely beginning to restore links to my website. I imagine that will take me a while.
It's not that this blog isn't important to me--because it is! Part of it is the logistics of getting my daughter ready to move across country. Part of it is needing to immerse myself in a manuscript I'm evaluating for someone. Part of it is needing time to withdraw and ponder where my life is going now. And there is a lot to ponder.
One of the patterns I want to change is not letting myself want. It's good to be happy with what one has and to be able to find joy every day no matter what. It's another thing not to let oneself want because for most of my life I couldn't have what I wanted--or if I got it, it would have come with too many things I didn't want. I find that even now I'm a bit rusty when it comes to thinking about what I might want.
But that's what I've been doing. Practicing thinking about wants. Practicing imagining that what I want could be possible without all the negatives such things would have come with in the past. I've found that about the only way I can do that with some things is to say to myself: WHAT IF it was possible to have A without Z? What if it was possible? What would it look like if it was?
It didn't work, you see, to simply try to tell myself that it was possible and I needed to imagine that. In some cases, I couldn't. But to start with the words WHAT IF IT WAS POSSIBLE, then that changed things. I don't know how to explain the power of that difference, I just know it's there. And thank heavens it is because it lets me consider what I might want in a way I couldn't before.
What would YOU want, if it was possible? What would it look like if you could have what you want without all the things you don't want? And is there any piece, however small, of what you want that you could begin to have NOW? Those are the questions I'm asking myself and that maybe you might find useful, too.
Sending blessings and safe and gentle (((((((hugs))))))),