I've been thinking about expectations—maybe because of my trip back east. Expectations trip us up all the time, don't they? We expect certain things of ourselves and other people and if they don't work out that way, often we get upset.
I've been working on allowing myself to have expectations FOR MYSELF but detaching from the results. In other words, I'm setting goals for who I want to be and what I want to do but accepting that things may not work out the way I intend—and that it's okay if they don't.
That does NOT mean I don't do my best to accomplish whatever it is I've got as an expectation! I most certainly do. But it means I don't get upset with myself if things take a different direction.
With my son, I know what I wish for him. I know the hopes and dreams and fears I hold when it comes to his future. The challenge is to offer guidance when he will let me and at the same time acceptance of who he is, as he is. The challenge is to focus on what's good about him and what I love and build on that rather than focusing on the difficulties.
It seems to me I knew this when he was little. I fought for staff in programs he was in to see him as an individual and not a diagnosis and to build on his strengths, not just focus on areas where he was behind his peers in development. I know it consciously about myself as well, it's just that emotions don't always match the knowledge!
But think what the world would be like if we could all focus on what's right and good in the people around us. Think what the world would be like if we all reached out with love and encouragement to our children and ourselves. Think how different our lives would be if our parents had been able to do that with us!
So I'm thinking about expectations this week. How about you?
Sending blessings and safe and gentle ((((((hugs)))))),