Monday, March 31, 2008

Rebirthing Ourselves Pt. 2

So...let’s suppose we really do want to rebirth ourselves. What’s the fastest way to do that? In my experience, the fastest way to change is to CHOOSE TO WILLINGLY DO THAT WHICH SCARES ME THE MOST.

I am NOT talking about foolish risks! What I’m talking about is doing the things that I know would enrich my life if I could—or would—do them.

In my experience:

1) If I do what scares me and it turns out I can do it and nothing terrible happens, then no more of my energy needs to go into being afraid of that experience again. (Or at least a lot less—and each time it gets easier.)

2) If I do what scares me, my comfort zone expands.

3) If I do what scares me and I succeed (or at least survive), then it gives me evidence that perhaps I can successfully do other things that scare me and less of my energy goes into being afraid of those things.

4) If I do what scares me and it doesn’t work out the way I hoped, I have more information than I had before. I am still a step closer to being who I want to be and accomplishing what I wish to accomplish.

5) If I do what scares me, I begin to change my perception of myself as someone fragile or less competent than other people. I begin to feel less of an outsider and more like everyone else who can do those things that used to scare me. I begin to see myself as someone strong and competent and capable and courageous—rather than being immersed in that memory of how I was as a child when I felt so helpless and overwhelmed.

(Note: I have friends who crack up at the notion that I could ever perceive myself as helpless. Most people see me as very strong and competent and resourceful. And yet, the default emotional state can be the one from when I was that scared child and I have to stop and remind myself that’s where it comes from--and that it no longer applies.)

My point is that WILLINGLY CHOOSING TO DO WHAT SCARES US is a very powerful step we can take to rebirth ourselves and move forward in our lives. I have NEVER regretted doing what scared me but I have often regretted the times I didn’t step up to a challenge that could have enriched my life.

What might you willingly choose to do that scares you? How could your life be better if you did?

Sending blessings and safe and gentle (((((((hugs))))))),

PS Speaking of feeling overwhelmed... I will be going back east this weekend to spend a couple of days with my grown son who has Down syndrome and behavioral issues. I will be, as always, trying to bring order and calm into chaos and that often feels overwhelming. So please keep my son (and me) in your thoughts this coming weekend as I try to find a way to reach him.


gypsy-heart said...

Excellent post April!

I so agree with your experience. If we don't step out and grow we become stagnet and our spirit starts dying.

I really liked what you said about no more of your energy going into being afraid when you succeed!

Thank you for sharing Pt. 2 with us!

Blessings and Hugs to you!

gypsy-heart said...

I forgot to tell you that I will be thinking of you while you are with your son. I will mention both of you when I light my candles. :)

Enola said...

prayers and best wishes for safe travel.

I'm scared to let go of control. Trying to learn to do that.

Kahless said...

A great post and wise words.

I will be thinking of you.


Marj aka Thriver said...

This reminds me of "Feel the Fear And Do It Anyway." Good stuff!

I hate to be a nag (hee hee) but this is another series that would be excellent for The Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse!

Good luck this weekend. You ARE in my thoughts and prayers. I know that overwhelm feeling myself!

April_optimist said...

Thanks for all the good wishes everyone. Hugs to all of you--Gypsy Heart, Enola, Kahless, Marj. Oops, my son's getting into something--got to go!