Monday, March 24, 2008

Rebirthing Ourselves

Rebirthing ourselves over and over again is a natural and powerful step to take all through our lives. (This time of year tends to bring it to mind for me.) By that I mean stopping to think about where we are, how we got here, and whether changing any of our assumptions about our lives and ourselves might be worthwhile.

We make assumptions every day about how things are and who we are. Often those assumptions are things we were taught by our families or society and often we outgrow them or discover they were never true in the first place—IF we stop to challenge them.

It’s so easy to go through life never questioning our assumptions but we do so at a very high price—cutting ourselves off from wonderful possibilities we might otherwise have. Some of our greatest inventions and achievements came from people who didn’t listen when they were told it couldn’t be done.

If we were abused as children, it’s especially important to question those assumptions. We were almost certainly lied to by our abusers and we probably told ourselves what we needed to believe in order to survive. But now, as adults, we can choose to rewrite those assumptions and toss any that don’t work for us or aren’t true.

How do we do that? Well, as children, we knew how to play make believe and ask: What if?

What if we did that with our lives now? What if we asked ourselves: Could we be wrong about the person we think has insulted us? What if they were saying thinking something entirely different than what we think we heard? What if (at least some) people WILL treat us with kindness and respect—NOW? What if that’s what we deserve? What if we aren’t stupid or crazy or shameful? What if we ARE deserving of love and success and happiness? What if...?

What if we could do that thing we were told we couldn’t do when we were children? What if we aren’t tone deaf or incapable of doing math or shouldn’t even think about picking up a hammer or wrench? What if we can be happy, successful, capable people?

What if we can find joy even on the most difficult of days? What if it’s okay to have fun as we move forward in our lives and take on new challenges?

What if we stop and ask ourselves: What assumptions do I want to challenge TODAY? What new possibilities do I want to bring into my life NOW--even if I didn't know I could have them before? How can I expand my expectations for what’s possible for me?

How about you? What ways could you enrich your life by asking: What if...?

Sending blessings and safe and gentle (((((((hugs))))))),


Anonymous said...

Okay, this isn't EXACTLY on point with today's post, but I've just got to share:

TLC has a series running now starring Britian's top-selling nonfiction author (purportedly), Paul McKenna.

His "tapping technique" for reducing stress (which he teaches as part of a weight loss plan in the show) just works wonders.

Emotional stress is emotional stress, and no one knows that more than a Thriver, right?

It's a method dealing with the left brain - right brain communication, I haven't researched it yet, but I have tried it.

Takes just a minute, you're just tapping your hand, your collarbone, your cheek - moving your eyes - humming a tune. Simplistic.


Here's the link if you're interested, and yes, it seems silly. Till you find you've calmed down and your peace has returned.


Link has a word-description as well as a video demonstration.

Thanks, just had to share.

April_optimist said...

Anonymous, Thanks for posting. Interesting. Synchronous, too, because I'd been thinking of going to an EFT workshop that's going to be held near me in a few weeks. The person doing it apparently uses EFT not only to deal with past trauma but to make positive changes in one's life.

therapydoc said...

Love it, thriver.

gypsy-heart said...

Very sage post..and beautifully written!
I am sure you already know this, but it never hurts for us to say it out loud again...when I stopped being afraid of some of the "characters" from my past I took my power back. That is when my "what if's" became my reality! :)
The most amazing thing to me is my hatred dissolved at the same time. I had no idea that it was my own hatred that was poisoning me.
I usually do not write about such things...but sometimes it needs to be

Thank you for your powerful words!

keepers said...

"what if" everything we were told as children was lies to cover up and hide what we went through? "What if" we weren't and aren't the bad people we were told we were? "What if" we deserved to be treated differently? "What if" all of us survivors continue to help each other via blogs and posts and emails and telephone calls and we all thrive?

peace and blessings


April_optimist said...

Therapy Doc, Thank you.

Gypsy Heart, Yes, our hatred does poison us. There is such power in letting it go! And of course it's so much easier to let go of the hatred as we reclaim our own lives and realize we aren't hostage to those characters any more....

Keepers, YES! YES! YES!

Marj aka Thriver said...

I think most of us tend to "what if" ourselves to death with negative, pessimistic worry-type thoughts. WHAT IF we started looking at what might happen that could be GOOD?! What a concept!

Rising Rainbow said...

What if what we remember really is the truth and we're not crazy after all.

Marj aka Thriver said...

Thanks for letting us use this excellent post for THE BLOG CARNIVAL AGAINST CHILD ABUSE. I always appreciate your contributions and support.

April_optimist said...

Rising Rainbow, Exactly!

Marj, Glad it could be useful.