Thursday, March 18, 2010

Thought Patterns

For much of my life I expected things to go wrong. It seems like I was afraid of everything. These days, I feel much different. Well, you knew that from my "identity"--April Optimist. I had a reminder of how important it is that we learn to choose how we look at situations.

Right before I left for the east coast, I posted about frustration with my ex-husband and his relationship with my daughter. I refocused and asked myself what good could come out of it and spoke to both. Upshot? He made time for her and they talked about some very important things and she again has faith her father loves and accepts her. They have talked in ways they never did before.

While I was on my trip, my laptop screen went dead. My first reaction? How terrible! How unfair! I mean, the thing is only around 2 years old! Then I refocused. Realized how lucky I was. It happened while I was staying with friends who had an external monitor I could use. It turned out my laptop is still under warranty--for a couple more weeks. It turned out I'd gotten on site service so they came to my house--when I got back home--to fix the laptop. I wasn't, at the moment, teaching an online class. In other words, I am very, very lucky.

The thing is, I could have put my energy and emotions into anger and frustration in both cases. I could have seen myself as cursed. Instead, good things came out of both situations. Definitely a reminder to let myself believe things can go well for me, things can turn out okay, I can be lucky.

It isn't always easy to stop and ask myself that key question: What good is there or could there be about this situation? Sometimes that's the last thing I feel like asking. But these two things were a powerful reminder of why that IS what I want to do.

Here's hoping you're able to see good--or the potential for good--in the challenges in your life, too. Sending blessings and safe and gentle (((((((hugs))))))),

PS I am soooo way behind on things between the trip and needing to get my laptop fixed. I'm going to try to visit blogs in the next couple of days.


Susan said...

April; I saw your note on the blog "Coming out of the trees". So glad I found you - I love the way you can apply solutitions to some real life issues. It does come down to how we choose to look at it, doesn't it?

Nice to meet you and would of course like to invite you to visit my world sometime as well!


Patricia Singleton said...

One question I have learned to ask myself is "How important is it?" Usually it isn't important enough for me to blow my peace of mind for. Isn't it a really great place to be when you can see the gifts or the blessings that come from a bad situation? Thanks for leaving your comment on my blog today.

Susan said...

I agree...and appreciate what you have to say; it really is paying attention to the "story", the thoughts that start. I like the way you talk about being able to choose to stop and ask yourself these questions, evaluate the situation.

I'm glad to have found your home here and will look forward to reading your posts!

Just Be Real/God Whispers In The Wind said...

April, a delight to read. I commend you for your strength. I still battle with becoming angry before reasoning. Thanks for sharing dear one. Blessings.

Colleen said...

I TRY to ask myself - what am I supposed to learn from this? That question helps me. Prayer helps. Blogging helps! Blessings. (I mentioned you on my blog today!)

Mark said...

Love your perspective! We choose how we process everything. Glad you have made the choice to see the good.

Marj aka Thriver said...

I'm reading a lot of posts about perceptions and changing your perspective. Hhhmmmmm...a theme! Kudos to you for turning things around. You always inspire me!

Morri/g-h said...

Just popped in to say hello. Love your continued positive attitude!
It really does change energies!

Continued good energies to you!

~Morri/gypsy-heart :)

April_optimist said...

Susan, Thank you for your kind words. I'm glad you found my blog as well.

Patricia, Seeing the blessings that come from the bad situations is what it's all about, I think.

Just Be Real, Thank you. What I'm finding is that if I trust myself, I'm far less likely to get angry in the first place.

Colleen, All very good ways to process things.

Mark, Thank you. Learning to see the good was one of the hardest things I've done and at the same time one of the most wonderful.

Marj, Thank you. And thank you for all you've done for survivors.

Morri, Thank you!