Sunday, November 01, 2009

More on Dreams

Well, this post isn't exactly about dreams but it continues the conversation from the previous post.

I'm pretty sure now that I'll be fictionalizing what I write. I'm pretty sure there's something left to process that I don't want to look at. I tell writing students that the past matters--whether in real life or with our characters--only to the extent that it is affecting the person's actions and reactions in the present. If it's not, leave it alone, it's not time to bring it up.

But this is affecting me. My life is pretty good. I'm happy. I am light years from where I was just 5 years ago. But there is something I'm bumping up against that if I process it will allow me to move forward in a major way. If I knew what it was.

I can make some guesses. Enough to be wary. I'm pretty sure I'll want to use a slightly different approach than when I processed things before. I know that I'll make a space for laughter and joy every day even when--maybe especially when--it's hard to do so.

It's been a while since I had to process something new but I'll pull out my tool kit and experiment until I find just the right combination of skills that will let me heal this last (I hope!) remaining piece.

Sending blessings and safe and gentle ((((((hugs))))))),


Colleen said...

April, I know that feeling, that sense of needing to deal with something but not sure what. There seems to always be something. I am glad you are happy at this point in your life. You deserve to be happy. Thanks for your helpful words on my post. Hugs.

Ethereal Highway said...

I sensed something like this was coming for you when I began reading of your dreams, especially after you said that you don't worry much about dreams, but they are now catching your conscious attention. I'm sorry that it seems there is something there, because I know it can get painful. And I know it can be more difficult when you don't have access. I do know this, though - when you locate the specific thing that is needed to fully deal with it without ruining the good that you have, then you will get more access and then more freedom will follow. At least this is how it's been for me and some others I read. I'm on my own search now for the 'proper tool'. For me it is to not be alone in engaging the type of honesty that I need. I need VERY strong company because there is still so much that has not been faced. I hope you and I will both get what we need. We deserve to have what we need.

Just Be Real said...

When I feel I sense something in my spirit that I just cannot connect. I go to the Lord to help reveal what needs to be.

Dear one you seem content, which is wonderful!

Thank you for sharing. Blessings and hugs....

mile191 said...

Thank you thank you thank write wonderfully and I appreciate your hope and healing here and in your comments as you read and really help me. Thanks for your support. I do hope that your writing takes off in the direction that will bring you the most healing and peace.

You are amazing, and really a strength to many of us.

thanks, mile

April_optimist said...

Colleen, I am happy and it's a good feeling after so many years when I wasn't.

Ethereal Highway, Yes, this is how the process works for me as well. I think of it as having a tangled web of yarn and teasing out a loose end then following that as long as possible.

Just Be Real, I am content. I know, though, that my life will get even better as I deal with whatever this is surfacing now.

Mile191, Thank you.

VICKI IN AZ said...

Here with you listening.. Always. xoxo