Saturday, August 01, 2009

How Things Are Changing

Well, some of you have asked how things are changing so....here goes. I'll start with my dog since Kahless specifically asked about her.

When I first brought her home, Sophy was scared of a lot of things. If I left her more than an hour or two there were accidents. On New Year's Eve, she was terrified of the fireworks and sat trembling in my lap. Now? Now I can leave her for up to 6 hours. She wasn't scared on July 4th and she joyfully looks forward to each day. She still checks out limits and when we pass rabbits on our walks I know all training is going to go out of her head as she tries to get that rabbit! But now she often rolls on her back for me—without trying to grab my hand when I rub her tummy. Now she can let me out of her sight without panicking. And now I'm learning to adjust to the idea that I have a dog who can catch birds and rabbits—in my back yard! (EEEWWWWW!) She no longer clings the way she did for so long. And we have a new routine of rolling out of bed, dressing and immediately going for a walk because with the record heat we've had this summer it's too hot to go any later in the day.

But a lot of other things are changing too. Paul asked about those dynamics.

I'm being asked to step into leadership in a situation where, at the same time, I feel somewhat marginalized. That means I get to look at patterns. How does this resemble past situations? How is it different? In what way are my choices playing into problems that arise? What changes can I make?

Maybe most importantly I'm asking myself: How can I stand in a place of excitement about the changes taking place in my life rather than standing in fear? How can I make choices based on what I want rather than what I fear?

If I can do that, then everything changes. Most of the mistakes I've made in my life, the things I regret were the result of choices I made and actions I took out of fear.

When I have been able to speak and act from a place of looking at what I want, I have never regretted what I said or did—even when it didn't work out the way I expected. Those adventures I look upon with joy, able to see what I learned and gained, no matter how they turned out.

You can see why I want to make this my operating method for everything—as much as I can. So when I get scared about a new change or opportunity, I stop, take a deep breath, smile (physiologically something happens that alters the emotions) and remind myself of the above truths. That lets me step back enough to set aside my fears and look at what I want—and then choose what, if any, action I will take.

I'm going to try to post a bit sooner next time. In part that's because I'll be traveling for a week and hope to post before that trip. It will be interesting to see how I interact with my ex-husband and son this time. (As long as I'm growing and changing--and I hope I never stop!--each time I see them is different.)

Here's hoping there are good changes happening in YOUR life!

Sending blessings and safe and gentle ((((((hugs))))))),
April_optimist

7 comments:

Paul from Mind Parts said...

Congratulations on the changes!

You are being very positive about this, and that's great.

Just keep in mind that some decisions, which may feel like they are made because of fear, are self-protective. In other words, self-protective acts can be what you want/need.

But, in general, your outlook is wonderful.

Congratulations again!

Paul

Kahless said...

Thanks for updating on Sophy; I hopw when she rolls it isnt in anything smelly like my boy Ben has a fancy for!

I think what holds us back a lot is fear, so congrats that you recognise that and just go for it!!

VICKI IN AZ said...

I really can't say thanks enough for the comment about your headache and memory today. It gave me the insight that I was looking for. I just need to figure out how to tap in, I know she is ready to tell, even starting, but I the adult me put up blocks.

I really like what you have said here. I am so happy for you that you can recognize the liberation of acting without fear, whether we do it right or wrong, we decided!! That is exhilarating!
I can't wait to hear more, and your dog sounds like a sweetheart.

I am so happy to have found you!
Blessings and hugs to you too!
Vicki

gypsy-heart said...

Sounds like good changes to me!

You'll do great in the leadership position!

Good energies and peace to heart to you!

VICKI IN AZ said...

April,
Hi I am Vicki again, so I started to get another one of those headaches two days later, they are so different, I get so sick with them. Anyway, I was laying there wondering how to tap in, what was I supposed to do? I just let my mind go, before I got sick. I began to think about my mom and the little Vicki inside me and tears just started streaming out of both eyes.
I started thinking what are the reasons why I won't tell my therapist out loud what it is I am remembering? I knew that I needed to get up and write, I wrote about why and how I, as an adult just feel so degraded by my mother's actions, etc. I just knew, I am not taking care of the little me if I don't talk and I hide in shame. My headache slowly faded and I felt better.
I am starting to get these again several times a week, does this sound anything like how you handle them? Do you have any suggestions or advice, I sure am open to it!
Thanks and Hugs to you.
Vicki

April_optimist said...

Paul, Thanks. I've written a bit more about this in my latest post.

Kahless, Thanks. Sophy is pretty good about not rolling in smelly stuff. It's what she finds outside and eats that worries me....

Vicki, Glad I could help. I've posted more about processing in my latest post.

Gypsy-Heart, Thank you.

mmaaggnnaa said...

I really enjoyed this post! It seems like you have found a good middle ground for experiencing the riches of life while keeping yourself safe. I really like your attitude!

- Marie (Coming Out of the Trees)
http://mmaaggnnaa.wordpress.com/