Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Back Again

Okay, I know it's been forever since I last posted. I've been doing a bunch of stuff that took up time including setting up some online writing classes and pondering new directions in my life. I've been stepping outside my comfort zones in a number of ways and reminding myself that I want to act from a place of courage not fear.

Of course, stepping outside my comfort zone has meant that long buried fears and/or beliefs have popped up—often startling me because I didn't know I still had them. It's meant looking at each one dispassionately to see if it made sense. With some, I could immediately see how absurd the fear or belief was. With others I needed to take the position that what I was doing was an experiment and it would either prove or disprove the fear and/or belief and that it was okay whatever the outcome might be.

All of that takes energy. The good thing is that I can make such choices. I can consciously choose to step outside my comfort zones and do new things and/or handle old situations in new ways.

But it takes energy. And since the middle of change always looks like chaos, I've felt a bit...unsettled these past couple of weeks. The hardest thing, I think, is to give myself credit for what I am doing since like most people I tend to notice most the things I'm not yet doing that I think I should or mistakes I make as I learn how to do new things. That's part of the learning curve for this process.

So what's been changing? Let's see....

Relationship dynamics with my grown kids and my ex-husband.
Relationship dynamics at my church as well as my willingness to step into new roles there.
Relationship dynamics with my dog.
How I see myself in terms of my career and steps I'm taking regarding it.
How my day to day life plays out.

In other words, just a few little minor details of my life. I'd like to say I'm going to get back to posting far more often but I honestly don't know. Just as I don't know if I'm going to join Twitter under this identity (or any other).

I hope that each of you has wonderful new possibilities showing up in your lives and that you're finding ways to welcome those possibilities. Sending blessings and safe and gentle (((((((hugs)))))),


PS Colleen is giving a way a copy of her book. Click on the link to read about it on her blog.


Colleen said...

Thanks for the link.
Like this post. Glad to have you back posting. Remember you have a choice! You can choose for yourself. Hugs and blessings to you!

Paul from Mind Parts said...

It's so important that you are recognizing the changes. I am going to write down a sentence of yours: "the middle of change always looks like chaos". I like that. It's so true. Others around me sometimes don't like the chaos, ahem wife, but we'll get to a better place. Thanks for pointing this out.

So, will you make future posts that look at all these new dynamics? If so, we'll read. If not, that's okay too.


Kahless said...

I really would love to hear about the relationship dynamics with your dog...

Marj aka Thriver said...

Well, I know you need to dedicate time away from this blog, but I hope you don't stay away too long because--just like this post here--you are an inspiration to me. This truly is The Thriver's Toolbox! And, if you DO decide to join Twitter, let me know, 'cause I'm on there, too.

Thanks for your kind words at my blog recently while I've been in pain. Your bloggy friendship is truly a blessing to me and has been over these past few years. Bless you!

jumpinginpuddles said...

those changes you are going through sound exhausting but so freeing also

VICKI IN AZ said...

Sounds like you enjoy new challenges.
Best of discoveries!
I like how you explained challenging old fears and beliefs.
Take good care.

April_optimist said...

Colleen, Thanks.

Paul, My latest post talks a bit about some of the changes. Glad you like the sentence about chaos. Remembering that helps me more than I can say on difficult days.

Kahless, Done! In my latest post.

Marj, Thank you. I may make it to Twitter one of these days--just haven't done so yet.

Jumping in Puddles, The funny thing is that often these changes free up energy--once I've gotten through the chaos phase, of course....

Vicki, I've learned that challenges are always followed by my life getting better. I still don't like that they're messy and sometimes scary but I do like that my life keeps getting better and better....