Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Survivor Meme

I’ve been tagged by Kahless at Random Kahlesswith a “Survivor Needs” meme.

Rules:Please link back to the originating meme at Survivors Can Thrive , so people can see its origins, get ideas for their own self-care list, see who’s already been tagged, and maybe we can track how far this meme goes. List 25 needs and 5 wants. Try to restrict your needs list to things that have to do with being a survivor of some sort of abuse, assault, etc. Your list can be anything you want! Use this list to remind yourself to get your needs met this the New Year. Pass on this meme and tag five people to play this meme with you.

25 NEEDS (in no particular order):

1.) sunshine (helps me feel happier)
2.) time alone
3.) time with friends
4.) to be close to my children—if not geographically then emotionally
5.) to be treated with kindness and respect
6.) to have at least one person truly believe in me
7.) to have at least one person truly see and understand what I’ve been through
8.) to have at least one person truly understand how difficult it sometimes is for me to deal with things other people consider so easy to handle
9.) to continue to grow
10.) to have laughter in my life—every day
11.) to write (and give myself the voice I didn't have growing up)
12.) to share my love of writing with others (and know I have something of value to offer)
13.) to have people listen when I say something matters to me
14.) to share in and learn from the wisdom of others
15.) to love wholeheartedly no matter what the other person says or does—and to see the good in them (so that I do not become like my abusers who couldn't love)
16.) to set boundaries and be willing to walk away if the other person will not respect them
17.) to know what I need and honor that—no matter what anyone else thinks I should say or do or feel—and to be willing to say so
18.) to be able to truly honor and respect and believe in myself
19.) good, healthy food
20.) time to honor my spiritual self and my spiritual journey
21.) a spiritual community to be part of
22.) to be financially secure (fear of not being able to take care of my financial needs kept me in situations I should have walked away from much sooner)
23.) to exercise in ways that are fun and keep me in good health
24.) to honor my body and lovingly take care of it including going to the dentist and doctor for regular checkups and care (something that used to be hard for me when I hated it and blamed it for betraying me)
25.) to protect myself even as I open myself to new friendships and put myself out into the world in ways I haven’t done before

5 WANTS

1.) a new book contract
2.) a sheltie or collie puppy
3.) time by the ocean
4.) to see people to treat each other with kindness and respect and understanding
5.) a partner in my life who will love me and treat me with kindness and respect who
6.) to share the things that helped me as I made my healing journey

I can love and respect, someone who would truly enrich my life

The final part of this I’m clueless about. I have no idea who to tag since it seems that everyone I know has already been tagged. Perhaps...

1) Gypsy Heart
2) Lynn
3) Alex Marlin
4) Rebecca
5) Casey
6) anyone reading this who hasn’t already done the meme and would like to do so

Sending blessings and safe and gentle (((((((hugs))))))),
April_optimist

6 comments:

Marj aka Thriver said...

This is a very healthy, empowering and assertive list. You know, it would be interesting if I had made a list like this years ago, and then tracked how it evolved during my healing. Thanks so much for playing with us. I knew your list would be great!

Kahless said...

Wonderful wonderful list! Laughter, I think I forgot that one; its so important.

Karma said...

This is a good list. Its great to see the MEME make the rounds. I could relate to a lot on your list, and I think the thing about boundaries is SOOO important!

keepers said...

you have a wonderful list, it is so good to read others lists and go ooooh, wish i had thought of that! great idea!

peace and blessings

keepers

gypsy-heart said...

I think your list revealed a lot of goodness and inner strength!

Am I forgiven for having to pass on the list? I thought I wrote you here about it, but I guess it was on gypsy-heart. See how pitiful is that..I can't even keep up with what I write where. :O

I look forward to reading more of your words!

April_optimist said...

Thanks everyone! Glad you liked my lists.

Gypsy Heart, Of course it's okay to say this isn't for you! LOL about not remembering where you wrote what. Happens to me all the time!