Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Follow Up on Abuse

My friend is going to court today, facing her abuser. Her family will be standing with him. So I ask for your prayers that all goes well for her and that some kind of justice is served. Fortunately she has loving support to help her through this.

I understand the dynamics of people who stay in abusive situations. I understand the inability to believe things could be any different or any better. I understand the fear of being alone. And I weep for every person trapped by such fears.

Maybe that’s why I write this blog and give the workshops I do. Because I fiercely want others to know that things can be better. I fiercely want people to know that no matter how scared they are, there are ways to create the lives we want to have.

It doesn’t happen instantly and I’m not saying it’s easy. But it begins with that kernel of hope, that ability to begin to believe that things could be different, they could be better for the individual feeling trapped.

Saw a book the other day. Called The Hell I Can’t by Terry McBride. Now I haven’t read it so I don’t know if it’s any good or not. But I love the title. In a way, that’s been my life. People said I couldn’t do this or that and my instinctive reaction was: The hell I can’t! And I went on to do whatever it was they said I couldn’t do.

When I got counseling, I know the guy I worked with was afraid it couldn’t be done—that what had happened to me was so horrific there was no way to fully recover. Not that I asked. I didn’t want to hear the answer. Because I knew that no matter what he thought, I was darned well going to keep going until I got my life to where I wanted it to be. I knew it was possible to heal and I was going to do it no matter what any expert, no matter how much I trusted the person, said. And fortunately he trusted me enough not to try to impose his beliefs on me.

I don’t know where you are in your healing journey. I don’t know what words I could say that might be of the most help. I only know that I have to try. I have to keep presenting an image of what might be possible so that those who are still trapped in pain or fear might be able to grasp onto hope and find their way out of it.

So please keep my friend in your thoughts and prayers and I will keep all of you in mine.

Sending blessings and safe and gentle (((((((hugs))))))),
April_optimist

7 comments:

Rising Rainbow said...

Good for you! I totally agree. I think that only thing that can stop us is ourselves!

And I hope things go well for your friend.

keepers said...

we will keep your friend in our thoughts, hearts and prayers, and we are so very thankful for the posts you put up and the comments you leave on our posts, they are so very helpful to us!

peace and blessings

keepers

Karma said...

Because you rock, I have tagged you with an award recognizing it.

jumpinginpuddles said...

we are in teh hell i am not sure what i can and cant do , but for your freind we can pray

motherwintermoon said...

I will keep your friend in my blessings and prayers. I'm so glad she has you as a friend.

"The Hell I Can't" is a great book and amazing true story.

The story of your journey is full of hope, determination, and healing for all who read it.

Your presence here on the web truly makes a difference.

April_optimist said...

Thank you, everyone. So far the news is good. Officials are actually listening to my friend. Investigations are actually taking place.

Thank you all so much for your kindness and support and, Karma, for the award.

Marj aka Thriver said...

Thanks for sharing this. Please let us know how things go with your friend.

BTW, I really think you rock, too!