My friend is going to court today, facing her abuser. Her family will be standing with him. So I ask for your prayers that all goes well for her and that some kind of justice is served. Fortunately she has loving support to help her through this.
I understand the dynamics of people who stay in abusive situations. I understand the inability to believe things could be any different or any better. I understand the fear of being alone. And I weep for every person trapped by such fears.
Maybe that’s why I write this blog and give the workshops I do. Because I fiercely want others to know that things can be better. I fiercely want people to know that no matter how scared they are, there are ways to create the lives we want to have.
It doesn’t happen instantly and I’m not saying it’s easy. But it begins with that kernel of hope, that ability to begin to believe that things could be different, they could be better for the individual feeling trapped.
Saw a book the other day. Called The Hell I Can’t by Terry McBride. Now I haven’t read it so I don’t know if it’s any good or not. But I love the title. In a way, that’s been my life. People said I couldn’t do this or that and my instinctive reaction was: The hell I can’t! And I went on to do whatever it was they said I couldn’t do.
When I got counseling, I know the guy I worked with was afraid it couldn’t be done—that what had happened to me was so horrific there was no way to fully recover. Not that I asked. I didn’t want to hear the answer. Because I knew that no matter what he thought, I was darned well going to keep going until I got my life to where I wanted it to be. I knew it was possible to heal and I was going to do it no matter what any expert, no matter how much I trusted the person, said. And fortunately he trusted me enough not to try to impose his beliefs on me.
I don’t know where you are in your healing journey. I don’t know what words I could say that might be of the most help. I only know that I have to try. I have to keep presenting an image of what might be possible so that those who are still trapped in pain or fear might be able to grasp onto hope and find their way out of it.
So please keep my friend in your thoughts and prayers and I will keep all of you in mine.
Sending blessings and safe and gentle (((((((hugs))))))),