Saturday, October 13, 2007


I had an epiphany this week about clothes.

I always knew they were important. I knew we choose clothes to hide or reveal or to create illusions. I knew that often we aren’t even consciously aware of what we’re doing but that if we can become aware, clothes become a powerful tool to help ourselves heal, to protect ourselves, and to create an impact we want to create.

I would have said I understood all about clothes. This week I realized something I hadn’t realized before.

First, a little background. I'd been thinking that I might not need to buy any clothes this winter and that would be a blessing financially. And I was feeling just a little bit rebellious about that idea. Then I looked in my closet this morning and realized that some of the tops I felt so happy about when I bought them I now feel a bit blah about.

And then it hit me: Clothes are about (at least for me) possibilities. New clothes are about new possibilities.

After a while, clothes pick up associations for us. Those associations begin to outweigh the sense of new possibilities. That's why when life feels overwhelming or not good women often go shopping for new clothes. (And if we settle for what we don't really like in clothes then we're saying we'll settle for what we don't really like in life, too, right? If we make something ourselves and we hate how it looks, it feels like we'll hate what we make of our lives as well. If we like what we make, we have more of a sense that we can make what we want of our lives.)

I have a sense that a "cleansing" ritual for clothes I have might be a good thing.

I realize now why it's so important to get rid of clothes I don't like.

I realize why I'm holding onto clothes I've never or rarely worn that I love even though I almost never have a chance to wear them.

I always say that it’s the assumptions/associations we don’t realize we have that trip us up. Now that I’m aware of this connection for myself, I can consciously use it in a way that empowers me. Doesn’t mean I have to go out and buy new clothes. It does mean looking at them in a new way. It means remembering the sense of possibility I had when I acquired them. It means being really careful not to buy something just because it’s on sale but because I love how I feel when I put it on, I love how it looks on me.

Anyway, it may not be relevant to you but I toss my revelation out there just in case it brings some epiphany to you about how you feel about your wardrobe and what clothes mean to YOU.

Sending blessings and safe and gentle (((((((hugs))))))),


jumpinginpuddles said...

w3 loath clothes shopping for us its about being on show the baggier the clothes the less people look at you, but over time as healing is taking place our appearance is starting to matter to us, not for other people but for ourselves.

jumpinginpuddles said...

nad on anotehr note, we did a blog toiday about remving the dead wood in our life we were wondering in any of the workshops youve donehave you any information on teh stages toward remvong the dead wood and if you do can you blog about it.
Our blog explains where we are at on this one.

Karma said...

I've had a similar epiphany about clothes. After I was raped, I started wearing baggy clothes and gaining weight and only buying clothes when they were cheap and on sale. Now, I'm realizing that having nice clothes that fit me well and that I feel good in is actually important.

It isn't even about whether or not you go out and buy a whole bunch of new clothes, its about letting yourself enjoy going out to shop and feeling worth it to invest the time and money in finding clothes you can be happy about.

April_optimist said...

Jumping in Puddles and Karma,

Yes! Being able to celebrate how we look is a GOOD thing. We do matter.

JIP, I posted at your blog and my new post here incorporates a little about that. My workshops are, in theory, on writing. In practice I often also talk about making changes and believing in ourselves.