It’s Pity Party Day. See here for more details:
National Pity Party Day
I’m an optimist. I pride myself on that. I’ve worked damn hard to get to where I am and to be able to feel happy most days. But I don’t ever want anyone to think it’s easy. I don’t ever want to forget how far I’ve come. So I decided to write a list of what I hate about being a survivor:
People who minimize the abuse. People who say it wasn’t so bad.
The emotional landmines that can go off when we least expect them.
The push/pull between trusting (the wrong people) too much and being paranoid (with people who can be trusted).
The sense of shame that can be so hard to get rid of.
The sense of guilt that can be so hard to get rid of.
The lack of self-worth that gets in the way of being who we are meant to be.
People who minimize what happened and/or blame the victim.
The fear that surfaces at the most inconvenient times.
The jealousy of people who don’t have to struggle with the handicaps we have to get over.
People who don’t give a damn about anyone except themselves and think it’s okay to hurt others.
PEOPLE WHO TRY TO MINIMIZE WHAT HAPPENED AND/OR BLAME US AND/OR MINIMIZE US.
People who don’t get what resilience and strength and courage it takes to survive. Who don’t give us credit for that and sure as heck don’t recognize how extraordinary it is when we manage to do more than just survive.
People who don’t get how difficult every day things can be for us. Who don’t understand why we can’t do things the same way as everyone else.
No I’m not in a happy mood right now. One too many hassles in too short a period of time.
Yes, I’m a survivor and a thriver. Yes, I’ve created a pretty good life for myself. Yes, on the whole I’m happy most of the time. NOW. But I’ll be damned if I’ll let anyone minimize what it took to get to this point. I’ll be damned if I’ll let anyone criticize me because I don’t do what they do or what they think I should do. I’ll be damned if I’ll let anyone push me around ever again.
I’m nice. It’s who I choose to be. Because I recognize that everyone hurts, everyone gets scared and almost all hurtful things done are done out of fear. But heaven help anyone who mistakes that niceness for me being a potential victim. If they do, let’s just say it won’t be a very pretty sight.