Sunday, April 02, 2006


Do you worry? Do you try to control the outcome of events in your life? Many of us do to some degree.

Many of us grew up in situations that were less than ideal. Sometimes we had to act as the parent in our families even though we were children. Sometimes the only sense of safety we had was in the illusion that we could control the chaos, we felt we must and could anticipate and head off each new disaster. That belief helped many of us get through our childhoods but as adults, it’s often counter productive.

I found myself thinking about this during the week. There was a situation that potentially may cause me some problems. I was impatient for it to unfold so I would know. I tried to anticipate how others might act/react and what I could or should do to head off trouble. Only...I couldn’t know for sure.

I was starting to get rather stressed when I suddenly realized that I should take the advice I had just given someone else facing the possibility of losing her job. I had suggested she ask herself what good could come out of the situation if she did. And suddenly, as I sat stressing about my concern, I realized that my advice could be expanded.

In that moment, I realized that instead of asking myself (rather frantically): What should I do, what should I do? I could ask myself: In every possible outcome, what good could come out of that outcome? All of a sudden, it was okay. All of a sudden, I could see that no matter what happened, I would be okay. All of a sudden, I could see that no matter what happened, something good could come out of the situation or I could make something good come out of it.

I share this with you because I think it is one of the most empowering approaches we can take to life. Yes, it’s good to be generally prudent. And I’m not suggesting never thinking ahead. But the next time you find yourself worrying about the future and trying to anticipate things you can’t, stop and ask yourself what good could come out of each possible outcome. You might be surprised to realize that what you’ve been fearing might mean disaster could actually open up possibilities you hadn’t thought of before.

We often try to control people and the world around us believing that will keep us safe. A far safer strategy is always to be open to the possibilities that change can bring, to look for what could be good rather than focusing on what could go wrong.

As Anthony Robbins says, what we focus on becomes our reality. A focus on what could go right then becomes the most powerful focus we could have.

Sending safe and gentle (((((((hugs))))))),


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