Often if we have had past trauma or deep emotional hurt in our lives, we can be thrown into flashback or worse, because less obvious, acting as if the present is the same as something that happened in the past. By that, I mean what is happening in the present resonates with what happened in the past and we have a gut reaction that may be all out of proportion to what is happening now.
I have read advice to carry ice water or a rubber band around your wrist that you snap to bring you back to the present. My reaction? WHAT THE #@#^%%">#@#^%% ARE THEY THINKING?????
We got hurt in the past so we’re supposed to hurt ourselves NOW to ground us in the present???? To me, that sounds crazy. Who wants to be in the present if it’s going to hurt as much as the past or we have to hurt ourselves to get there?
My solution? Ground yourself in the present in positive ways. Wear something you love that you couldn’t have worn when you were a child. Eat or drink something you love that you couldn’t have had at the time the trauma or past hurt was happening. For me, coffee is soothing and relaxes me because it reminds me that I’m an adult and am safe now. I may wear a bracelet or earrings or a necklace I love that I couldn’t have worn when I was a kid.
By choosing things you love to ground yourself in the present you are not only reminding yourself that this is NOW but you are also reminding yourself that NOW you can be happy, NOW you can have things in your life that you love, NOW you can be safe.
So make a list of all the things you love and surround yourself with them so that any time you start to feel overwhelmed and suspect something is resonating with past hurt, you can do or wear or eat or drink something from that list and ground yourself in the present in a truly positive way.
Sending safe and gentle ((((((((hugs))))))),