Friday, August 24, 2007

Surprises

My daughter is in town. She’s moving here and has already found an apartment. For years I felt like I wasn’t a good enough mother and tried so hard not to “infect” her with my flaws. I felt I had to make it up to her that she hadn’t gotten a better mother.

Since my divorce, I’m doing things differently. I told her she had to treat me with respect. I told her we were rewriting the relationships. It’s been a bit rocky at times but getting better and better over all. Since she arrived this week, I’m enjoying the chance we have to be together and not fight. I’m enjoying being able to interact with her and just being me—without worrying what she’ll think of me or my house or...anything else about me. It’s nice to have reached this point of feeling “good enough” just as I am.

It’s a nice surprise to discover this is possible. It’s a nice surprise to see how well we can get along now. It’s a nice surprise to have her ask if something is okay rather than assuming if she wants me to do something then obviously I will. It’s a nice surprise to be able to talk with her about things that in the past would have started a fight. It’s just flat out nice to have her here in town.

She is a visible reminder to me that dreams can come true as she pursues her dreams making choices that are right for her—no matter what the rest of the world might think. It’s reassuring to see that she can walk her own path and not only succeed by doing so but succeed brilliantly finding more choices available than if she had followed conventional wisdom.

It’s reassuring for any of us who don't find conventional pathways right for us--for whatever reason. It’s reassuring because I can see what a difference self-confidence makes. It’s reassuring because I can see how taking chances and moving outside one’s comfort zone can pay off.

There have been lots of surprises this week and I’m glad for each and every one. May all of you have wonderful surprises in your lives too. Sending blessings and safe and gentle (((((((hugs))))))),

April_optimist

5 comments:

keepers said...

we are very excited for you and your relationship with your daughter. we enjoy hearing another multiple reconnect with a child they have been apart from.

peace and blessings

keepers

April_optimist said...

Thank you for your good wishes, Keepers. I should clarify though that I'm not multiple.

Relationships change and grow. Sometimes they become far better than they were before. May it be that way for you with people in your life who are important to you.

Karma said...

Good for you April for trying to make the relationship what you want instead of feeling like you have to be constantly apologizing/not good enough. By the way, I really like how positive you manage to be in your blog and in your comments. You seem like you're in a really good place.

keepers said...

thank you for the clarification! we are not sure why we thought that, maybe because we have read so much here that we have felt and we added 2+2 and got 5. Hope we did not offend you.

peace and blessings

keepers

April_optimist said...

Karma,

Thanks. I do think I'm in a good place.

Keepers,

Of course I'm not offended! (((Hugs)))