tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20677845.post1768494990798462861..comments2023-05-19T05:42:20.855-07:00Comments on The Thriver's Toolbox: Gratitude and SurvivorsApril_optimisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04264149241673287909noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20677845.post-7755426031366374192007-12-04T08:30:00.000-08:002007-12-04T08:30:00.000-08:00Matthew, YES, YES, YES!!! We MUST acknowledge what...Matthew, <BR/><BR/>YES, YES, YES!!! We MUST acknowledge what we feel--all of it--before we even begin to think of letting anger, fear, etc. go. Gratitude is more powerful when we feel it even though we also feel pain.April_optimisthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04264149241673287909noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20677845.post-91878875685393381162007-12-02T23:42:00.000-08:002007-12-02T23:42:00.000-08:00Gratitude is most powerful when it's first and for...Gratitude is most powerful when it's first and foremost about being who we are. Including all that pain.<BR/><BR/><A HREF="http://www.loving-awareness.org/2007/12/02/emotions-as-beauty-itself/" REL="nofollow">Loving Awareness</A>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20677845.post-74129246930429211572007-11-26T11:55:00.000-08:002007-11-26T11:55:00.000-08:00Karma, Good for you having a gratitude blog! And...Karma, Good for you having a gratitude blog! And yes, I think the loyalty is often driven by fear.<BR/><BR/>Mother Wintermoon, You're a blessing in my life, too. I smiled at the thought of your furbabies. I miss the collie I used to have. So glad you can see the good things in your life and be grateful for them!<BR/><BR/>Keepers, Yes, partly it's indoctrination--being taught by our abusers that we MUST be loyal--and partly fear of being abandoned and/or never finding anyone else to love us. Good that you could find the strength to stop enabling.<BR/><BR/>Jumping in Puddles, I burst out laughing when I read your comment because it's something I've thought about this week with my ex-husband and his latest bizarre idea. I had to really stop and remember why it was good that he was part of my life for a time. I had to really work to remember that good came out of it. But part of me just wanted so bad to lash out, too!April_optimisthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04264149241673287909noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20677845.post-28511739267623245882007-11-25T12:18:00.000-08:002007-11-25T12:18:00.000-08:00i think its hard tp be feel;ing like you want to b...i think its hard tp be feel;ing like you want to be gratuitous shilst wanting to knock the shit out of somebody whose irritating youjumpinginpuddleshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02701383598841540578noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20677845.post-41906994261779307022007-11-24T19:27:00.000-08:002007-11-24T19:27:00.000-08:00loyal or afraid to sever ties that bind? as childr...loyal or afraid to sever ties that bind? as children many of us were lied to about loyalty to our perps since they were family and that has had a far reaching effect on us all the way into our 50's. It is not easy but we had to stop the loyalty and enabling, for their sake and ours. <BR/><BR/>peace and blessings<BR/><BR/>keepersAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20677845.post-20436058632507580982007-11-22T05:54:00.000-08:002007-11-22T05:54:00.000-08:00Holidays can be so hard on survivors. So many of u...Holidays can be so hard on survivors. So many of us are traumatized by holidays and their ubiquitous focus on familial loVe and family gatherings.<BR/><BR/>I work on counting the mundane blessings we so often overlook or take in stride...the blessing of my refrigerator, washing machine, dryer, bed, snuggly covers, heat, air conditioning, lights to read by, the food in my cupboards. <BR/><BR/>On Thanksgiving I make a special point of looking around my home and acknowledging all the everyday things I don't usually acknowledge, such as a comfy chair, my stereo that allows me to play the music I love, etc.<BR/><BR/>Of course my furbabies are a continual fount of geniune, unconditional loVe, for which I am deeply thankful. Their loVe never hurts.<BR/><BR/>I posted my favorite Thankgiving prayer of the Native American tradition. It is one that I find most meaningful and most importantly, non-triggering.<BR/><BR/>I think the grapple is always there. There will always be things to be thankful for and there will always be things we want and need to change. <BR/><BR/>I would have to say the desire to change, heal, and improve our lives is something to be deeply grateful for, in and of itself.<BR/><BR/>Self-awareness, self-honesty, and the will to find a better way are life-savers.<BR/><BR/>I'm thankful for you April, and the loVe, caring, and friendship I found when our paths crossed in cyberspace.<BR/><BR/>Abundant Blessings of life's simple treasures and pleasures, as you continue to embrace change, hope, and optimism and impart it loVingly it to others. (((Thanksgiving hugs n furbaby snugs, MW)))Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20677845.post-75084848909601313722007-11-21T15:01:00.000-08:002007-11-21T15:01:00.000-08:00I started a special gratitude blog to push myself ...I started a special gratitude blog to push myself to recognize on a daily basis (although I don't manage to do it every day) the things that I'm grateful for.<BR/><BR/>I agree with you that survivors can be too loyal. I think that this is in part because the hurt caused by people we know is less scary by the possible hurt out there of strangers we might let into our lives. Its also about lack of self esteem and a desire to have people be loyal to us. <BR/><BR/>I think what we have to do is refocus our gratitude to be able to notice the multitude of good things in our lives in order to change the focus of feeling stuck with people who are in our lives but not necessarily good for us.Karmahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10708512001313683928noreply@blogger.com