Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Back Again

Okay, I know it's been forever since I last posted. I've been doing a bunch of stuff that took up time including setting up some online writing classes and pondering new directions in my life. I've been stepping outside my comfort zones in a number of ways and reminding myself that I want to act from a place of courage not fear.

Of course, stepping outside my comfort zone has meant that long buried fears and/or beliefs have popped up—often startling me because I didn't know I still had them. It's meant looking at each one dispassionately to see if it made sense. With some, I could immediately see how absurd the fear or belief was. With others I needed to take the position that what I was doing was an experiment and it would either prove or disprove the fear and/or belief and that it was okay whatever the outcome might be.

All of that takes energy. The good thing is that I can make such choices. I can consciously choose to step outside my comfort zones and do new things and/or handle old situations in new ways.

But it takes energy. And since the middle of change always looks like chaos, I've felt a bit...unsettled these past couple of weeks. The hardest thing, I think, is to give myself credit for what I am doing since like most people I tend to notice most the things I'm not yet doing that I think I should or mistakes I make as I learn how to do new things. That's part of the learning curve for this process.

So what's been changing? Let's see....

Relationship dynamics with my grown kids and my ex-husband.
Relationship dynamics at my church as well as my willingness to step into new roles there.
Relationship dynamics with my dog.
How I see myself in terms of my career and steps I'm taking regarding it.
How my day to day life plays out.

In other words, just a few little minor details of my life. I'd like to say I'm going to get back to posting far more often but I honestly don't know. Just as I don't know if I'm going to join Twitter under this identity (or any other).

I hope that each of you has wonderful new possibilities showing up in your lives and that you're finding ways to welcome those possibilities. Sending blessings and safe and gentle (((((((hugs)))))),


PS Colleen is giving a way a copy of her book. Click on the link to read about it on her blog.

Saturday, July 04, 2009

July 4th

When I think of Independence Day I think of Martina McBride's song about abuse.

I think about the profound respect I feel for men and women who risk their lives for all of us and who often come home from war with trauma as deep and profound as that which any of us carries inside.

I think of courage.

I think of the hopes and dreams the founders of the United States had for our country.

I find myself thinking that in my own life I want to live with courage, take risks for my own hopes and dreams and be willing to stand up for what's right even when it isn't easy.

Wishing for each of us our own independence days, every day. May we be able to fight for our hopes and dreams and take steps to escape the chains of our past. Every day.

Sending blessings and safe and gentle (((((((hugs))))))),